Sunday, 29 May 2016

Tough ride

We make our way to the shack. We grab our bikes, which the instructor rolls over to us. The instructor starts blabbing on about something called safety, I still listen though.

I clip on my helmet and start riding down the track, thinking to myself “I'm going to die, I’m going to die!” My heart starts pounding in my chest. I slowly turn a corner then... boom! I fall off my bike. I start screaming at the top of my lungs.

 The adults come down, one saying “Stay there I'm going to get the first aid kit.” Tears start pouring out of my eyes like a waterfall. I hop on my bike and the adult pushes me down hill. 

“It's so much fun!” think to myself.
We get to camp : The adult lays me down and chucks the ice pack on my ankle. “Don't do that!” I scream, tears crawling down my face.  Even though I hurt myself I still carried on. I learnt a lot at camp because I hurt myself and carried on with  . I did that because I persevered through the challenge’s. 
In this writing, I tried to use  punctuation as much as I could  and I did I used speech marks, full stops and comma. I  used because a few times and like too. I think that made my writing improve - when I was adding that in, I used complex sentences. I learnt a lot at camp and I'm going to remember that for the rest of my life.

1 comment:

  1. I love it it's so good I like how you use language and your good words it's really good. I like how you decline the scene how you hurt your ankle you describe it so well i love it